Combatting the Cancer of Bitterness
“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” – Matthew 6:14-15
Read Matthew 18:21-35
Combatting the Cancer of Bitterness
How would you respond if your doctor called after you had undergone some medical tests and told you, “You have cancer?” Perhaps you or someone close to you has heard that, three of the scariest words in the English language. Hopefully not, but there’s a kind of ‘cancer’ that’s all too common in many of our lives – and often we’re not even aware of it.
This ‘cancer’ is bitterness – lack of forgiveness, holding a grudge toward someone or something. It afflicts the spirit and it afflicts the soul.
We could compare it to metastatic cancer, which spreads from its original site and begins to affect other parts of the body. In a similar way, bitterness can have a negative impact on our attitudes, relationships, even our entire approach toward life.
The late Selwyn Hughes observed, equating bitterness to harboring a grudge against someone or something, “…we must determine to forgive everyone who hurts us and refuse to nurse a grudge. Grudges become glooms…. A grudge or a resentment is sand in the machinery of living.”
Imagine taking your car in for an oil change, but instead of replacing the oil in the crankcase, the mechanic pours in sand. Uh-oh! There goes the engine. We might not realize it but refusing to let go of grudges – no matter how justified they seem to be – can have an equally devastating effect.
“But you don’t know what they’ve done!” we might argue in our defense. “You don’t know how much they’ve hurt me (or my family, or my friends). How can I forgive them? I don’t want to forgive them!”
We’ve all been there at one time or another, but according to the Scriptures, what God expects of us is clear: We’re to forgive, even if the offending individual or entity doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Especially if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.
For instance, Hebrews 12:15 admonishes, “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” This single verse presents two important phrases – the “grace of God” and the “bitter root.” The Lord regards these as oxymorons – contradictions in terms.
Because God’s grace allows absolutely no room for bitterness. If anyone had a right for bitterness, to withhold forgiveness, it was God. And yet we read, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
No one has sinned against us nearly as much as we have sinned against the Lord. He had no obligation at all to forgive us for our many sins. Nevertheless, we have the assurance of the verse so familiar that we’re tempted to disregard it: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).
If that’s not convicting enough, consider Isaiah 53:5-6 which declares, “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. We all like sheep have gone astray, each one has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid upon Him the iniquity of us all.”
Okay, we get it. God has forgiven us for more than anyone could possibly do to us. But what if we still can’t let loose of the grudge, the bitterness toward [fill in the blank]. We’re only human, right?
More than we can ever comprehend, the Lord understands this. But He doesn’t ask us to forgive – to release whatever grudge we’re desperately hanging onto – in our own strength. When we’re saved by God’s redeeming grace, He also gives us the capacity to extend forgiveness when it seems so impossible.
Titus 3:4-5 tells us, “But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not by the righteous deeds we had done, but according to His mercy, through the washing of new birth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:4-5). Through spiritual rebirth we’re made new and able to exhibit His divine nature.
Galatians 2:20 says it a bit differently: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Whenever faced with a command from the Lord and my response is, “I can’t!”, He answers, “Yes, I know. But I can – and I’ll do it through you, if you’ll let Me.”
Are you nursing a long-standing grudge, allowing a root of bitterness to poison your inner being? Are you withholding forgiveness – in effect allowing sand to bind up the machinery of your own life? Maybe today’s the day for you to release it. To use the cliché, “let go and let God.” Even if the object of your anger doesn’t deserve forgiveness, do it for yourself. Free yourself from the awful prison of bitterness and gloom.